The Quote Garden

 I dig old books.

 Est. 1998

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Quotations about
Weather Forecasting

Welcome to my page of quotations about weather forecasting. We are grateful to the operational meteorologists because they really do help us out a lot, even if sometimes they can be a smidgen off.  —ღ Terri

PREDICTION. A bit of funny business invented by the Weather Man for the purpose of playing tiddledewinks with the weather. ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. ~Patrick Young, unverified

It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain. ~Mark Twain, quoted in More Maxims of Mark by Merle Johnson, 1927, per Barbara Schmidt of

WEATHER MAN... from the Latin words Guessa Gain... ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905

Long-range weather forecast: It’s gonna get real hot, then it’s gonna get real cold, then it’s gonna get real hot again. ~George Carlin

If there's a 50/50 chance that a forecast will go wrong, nine times out of ten it will. ~Author unknown

WEATHER  FORECAST: Probably rain; probably not. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague

No one has a sorrier lot than the weatherman. He is ignored when he is right, but execrated when he is wrong. ~Isaac Asimov

I have an idea that's going to increase the accuracy of the Weather Bureau 100%. It's called a window! ~Robert Orben, 2100 Laughs For All Occasions, 1983

On cable TV, they have a weather channel — 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window. ~Dan Spencer

Caulfield:  In the past, here's how you'd forecast the weather: pick up your phone; call someone west of you; have them open a window. In the present, you open a window on your phone.
Frazz:  In the future, no one goes outdoors.
~Jef Mallett, Frazz, 2018

There is little chance that meteorologists can solve the mysteries of weather until they gain an understanding of the mutual attraction of rain and weekends. ~Arnot Sheppard, unverified

Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day! ~Hector D. Cantú and Carlos Castellanos, Baldo, 2010

All you need to forecast the weather is a stone on a string —
• Stone wet:  Rain
• Stone dry:  Not raining
• Shadow on ground:  Sunny
• White on stone:  Snow
• Can't see stone:  Foggy
• Swinging stone:  Windy
• Jumpy stone:  Earthquake
• Stone gone:  Tornado
~Author unknown

Tonight’s forecast: dark. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to widely scattered light in the morning. ~George Carlin

Today, there will be sunlight all day, gradually darkening toward evening, then look for complete darkness overnight, ending by morning. ~Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich, Real Life Adventures, 2019

Teacher:  Johnny, you only got half the answers right on your test!
Johnny:  No problem, Teech!
Teacher:  How can you say that?
Johnny:  I'm going to be a meteorologist.
~Johnny Hart, B.C.

If Candlemas Day be fair and bright,
Winter will have another fight;
But if Candlemas Day be clouds and rain,
Winter is gone, and will not come again.
~Old rhyme

Yesterday was "ground-hog's day" in many parts of the United States, and Candlemas day in many other parts of the world. From time immemorial, it has been a critical day in the affairs of the weather. The character of the second of February is really of much more importance than whether the first of March comes in like a lion or a lamb. The simplest form of the adage is:—
      If Candlemas day be bright and clear,
      There'll be two winters in that year.
~Hartford Courant, 1877 February 3rd

If ground-hog day was bright and fair,
The beast came forth, but not to stay;
His shadow turned him to his lair,
Where six weeks more, he dormant lay
Secure in subterranean hold—
So wondrous weatherwise was he—
Against six weeks of ice and cold,
Which, very certain, there would be...
~H.L. Fisher, "Popular Superstitions," Olden Times: or, Pennsylvania Rural Life, Some Fifty Years Ago, and Other Poems, 1888

Seriously? They're letting a gopher give a six-week extended weather forecast?! What's next? A cat flying the traffic 'copter?!! ~Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy, The Duplex, 2015

Look, friends, don't you see a swallow? The herald of spring. ~Aristophanes, 424 B.C.  ["One swallow will not make spring, nor one bee honey," says the old proverb. It derives from Aesop's fable of The Spendthrift and the Swallow. "A few warm days in winter brought a swallow from its hiding-place, and a young prodigal seeing it, sold his cloack and spent the proceeds in riotous living. But the frost returned, and he discovered, to his sorrow that 'one swallow does not make summer.'" Per Burton E. Stevenson. —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

I'll tell you what kind of a Weather Bureau we have. Remember when Noah got on the ark? Well, they predicted "Slightly cloudy." ~Robert Orben, 2100 Laughs For All Occasions, 1983

…And looking at the extended Forecast. We see the swarms of Locusts moving out by the weekend just in time for another wave of burning hail. ~Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy, "Ancient Egyptian Weatherman," 2011

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann, unverified

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